I find, both as a teacher and as a business owner here in the heart of Center City Philadelphia, that I’m constantly challenging myself to be a better listener. Not just hearing words, but truly listening.

My friend Bill talks all the time about building relationships, and he’s right. It’s important in our line of work. 

But here’s the secret ingredient that makes those relationships actually work: you have to listen.

Does your client have a birthday coming up? 

Did they just come back from a trip to a place you’ve visited? 

Do they mention their kids, their pets, or that Eagles game they stayed up way too late watching? 

Those tiny moments of connection are where trust begins. And as apostille agents and notaries, trust is practically our currency.

Here are a few reminders I lean on to sharpen my own listening skills:

Be Fully Present

Make eye contact. Remove distractions. Yes, that means the phone, the tabs, and the mental grocery list. Focus on your client’s words, tone, and emotion. Especially when you’re talking about apostilles. Remember, most people have absolutely no clue what an apostille is, and they already feel a little overwhelmed.

Use Verbal and Non-Verbal Cues

Nod, say “I see,” “I understand,” or let silence sit for a moment instead of rushing in. Silence can be your friend. Reflect back with, “If I’m understanding you correctly…” This shows them you’re with them, step by step.

Ask Clarifying and Open Questions

Don’t assume. Curiosity is your ally. Try: “Can you tell me more about…?” or “What did you mean when you said…?” It saves you from headaches later and makes the client feel heard.

Paraphrase and Summarize

This is where misunderstandings go to die. Say, “What I’m hearing is…” or “Just to double-check…” It’s simple, but it’s amazing how much clarity it creates, especially when documents are involved.

Show Empathy

Apostilles often come with deadlines, international pressure, or personal stakes. When someone is stressed, acknowledge it. “I can see why that’s upsetting.” It doesn’t fix the problem, but it shows them they’re not navigating this alone.

Don’t Rush to Solve

This one is hard, especially for us city-girl problem solvers. Sometimes we’re so focused on fixing the issue that we miss what they’re actually trying to tell us. Let them finish. Let the moment breathe.

Follow Through

If you say you’ll call back, call back. Even if the update is simply, “I’m still working on this, but I haven’t forgotten you.” Closing the loop is how trust is built, brick by brick.

Listening isn’t flashy, but it is powerful. In our line of work, it can be the very thing that sets you apart.

How many of you have ever actually sat and thought about listening? If you haven’t, now’s a good time to start. After all, it’s usually where stronger relationships begin.

-Judi

If you’re ready to get certified as an apostille agent, my course is now included in the VIP membership of High Performance Notary on the Skool platform. You can join for free HERE and then immediately upgrade to VIP to access my World of Apostilles course.